Instead of writing about the excitement of a new life with a new kidney, I am writing about the nightmare turned reality of the last 6 days. I keep thinking I am going to wake up and realize that this is all just a really bad dream. But each morning I wake up and the reality hits me smack in the face. I've been thinking a lot about how I'm going to tell Kaden that his new kidney stopped working and that he will have to be on dialysis for many years before we can possibly try again. It is going to kill me to see his face when he finds out. After almost a week of hell and we are right back to where we started. No, I take that back...we are much worse than where we started. My sweet Kaden has had 4 surgeries in 6 days....soon to be 5 once he becomes more stable. How much can his little body take?
I am heartbroken, angry, confused, and just beat down. I will continue to grieve for the loss we have had, but I am so thankful that Kaden is alive. We know not every parent with their child in the ICU can say that. Kidney or no kidney, we still have Kaden.
Everyone at Riley has been trying so hard to do all they can for Kaden. He is loved by so many. We know we have a pretty special boy. His strength, courage, and resilience amaze me. I am so honored to be called Kaden's Mommy.
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